To be held
by Dtksgirl
Summary: Pearl is trying to sooth the fussy Steven back to sleep with a lullaby. But perhaps, it is Pearl who truly needs to be held. Pearlnet


A/N this is an early birthday present for my dear Musical lilou. Happy early birthday dear! I hope your day is blessed with happiness, joy, and the best of friends and family to celebrate with. Happy birthdaaaaay! This is a kawaii chapter with bird mom and square mom fluff. Emphasis on mom (And on square :P)

Pearl's door opened and out stepped a sleepy eyed Pearl. She had been awaken by the cries of baby Steven. Every night it was the same thing. She would be alerted by his cries and she was the one to tend to him. Not that she minded it in the least. But..because of all the attention Steven required, she found herself needing a bit of sleep. Sleep that she was not granted due to his constant demands. Ever since Rose had left, she was the one caring for Steven. Would it kill the others to give her a little help? "I'm coming, I'm coming." she muttered as she ascended the stairs that led to the small crib that Greg had set up for him. She approached the crib and lifted the wailing two week old. His face was slightly pink and his hair was curly and black. Sometimes...sometimes it hurt to look at him. He reminded her so much of Rose. She sighed and held the small baby close. She started slowly walking around the room and swayed him gently.

"Beautiful Dreamer, wake onto me. Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee. Sounds of the rude world heard in the day. Lulled by the moonlight have all passed away. Gone are the cares of life's busy throng. Beautiful dreamer awake onto me. Beautiful dreamer...awake onto me." Steven continued to cry. This always happened. Whenever Garnet held him, he was quiet immediately. When Amethyst held him, he was quiet. But with Pearl, he always cried. She would sing to him, sway him, hold him, try her best to be gentle with him but he always just cried. What was she doing wrong? It made her feel...horrible. She saw a tear drip onto his cheek, and slowly realized it was hers. She couldn't reach up to rub them away, so they continued to drip onto Steven's face. "What will it take..to get you to like me?" She asked sadly. Steven of course, didn't reply.

"Pearl." Pearl gasped and whirled around Garnet stood at the top of the stairs, just staring at the smaller gem.

"Garnet! Oh don't mind me! I'm just, trying to get Steven to sleep." She said quickly. Garnet didn't say say anything. Instead she watched as Pearl sniffed and turned around. She wasn't able to wipe away her tears, and didn't want Garnet seeing them. Pearl was trying so hard to be the stronger gem, trying to protect Steven and the others like she promised Rose. But it was so much being placed on her shoulders, that she felt like she might snap sometimes. She held Steven even tighter, causing him to let out a loud cry, and startled Pearl. Garnet could hear the quiet sobs that came from her afterwards. Garnet slowly approached Pearl. She placed her hand on her shaky shoulder.

"I think I might know why he's so upset when you hold him." She said. "It's because your always so tense. You can't relax when you hold him. Because your scared." Pearl didn't speak. She didn't think she could without her voice breaking. Besides, she wouldn't be able to deny it anyway. "Here, let me help." Pearl was startled again when Garnet put her arms around Pearl's thin waist and began swaying lightly on her feet, making Pearl do the same. Garnet hummed quietly before singing. "Beautiful dreamer, Wake onto me. Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee. Sounds of the rude world. Heard in the day. Lulled by the moonlight have all passed away. Gone are the cares of life's busy throng. Beautiful dreamer awake onto me. Beautiful dreamer awake onto me." Pearl's eyes were wide and she bit her lip to keep from sobbing even harder. When Garnet held her like this..it troubled her. She was struggling with her feelings. Garnet was a partner, a friend, a companion, but..she had been finding herself thinking of Garnet as something more lately.

"I know it's been hard on you since Rose..passed. But you need to pull yourself together. Steven needs us." Pearl tried not to say, 'And I need you.' "I've been upset too, but I've been able to keep it together for Steven, and you should do the same." Pearl nodded and trembled in Garnets arms. Garnet was quiet for a moment before sighing. "Alright." She said. She turned Pearl around so they were facing each other. She gently took the now quiet and sleeping Steven and placed him in his crib. Then, startling Pearl, she picked her up and, like they did with Steven, began to walk around the room and hummed softly. Pearl stared up at Garnet, who looked foreward. Pearl gripped tightly to Garnet's shirt and allowed the sobs she was holding in to make themselves known. She covered her mouth with her hand so that they wouldn't be loud enough to wake Steven.

She couldn't hold in her feelings any longer. She had to tell her. She hesitated, enjoying the warmth of Garnet's body and the sound of her heartbeat. She felt like a child again. And she..quite liked it. She looked up at her again. "G-garnet?" Garnet nodded. "Listen I..for the longest time I've..felt a certain way about you. And I haven't been sure how to tell you. Because Rose needed me and now steven needs me. So I couldn't tell you what I felt."

"What you needed." Garnet said quietly. Pearl nodded.

"Garnet..the thing is.i.i...I like you..a lot." Pearl then moved her head again so it was buried in Garnet's chest. She wanted to cry all over again. She could feel Garnet stop walking and become still. "You don't feel the same way?" Pearl sighed, trying to control her quivering lip. Garnet shifted her so that Pearl was facing her.

"When did I ever say that?" Garnet said with a smile. Pearl's eyes widened as she stared at the taller female. Pearl, as if she had been ready to do this all this time, reached up and wrapped her arms around Garnet's neck. She pulled herself up, and sealed there lips together, and was relived when Garnet didn't pull away or gasp. Instead she held Pearl tighter. Pearl was surprised to feel a salty tear touch her lips. She pulled away and chuckled.

"Who's crying in there?"

"Sapphire." Garnet said as she also chuckled. "Sorry." She said as she pulled off her glasses and rubbed at her eye on her forehead. She was about to put them back on when Pearl stopped her.

"don't." she said quietly. "Your eyes are beautiful, don't cover them up. I love seeing them." Garnet smiled again and nodded. "Your so beautiful Garnet. Your strong and kind and smart and just...perfect." Garnet could see the slight sadness on her face when she said perfect.

"Pearl nobody is perfect. I know your trying to be but you need to stop. You can't be perfect. No one can be. You just pushing yourself too hard when you try to be something your not. I love you for who you are Pearl. Not for perfections." Garnet smiled. "I wouldn't wnt you any other way." Pearl returned the smile. Garnet gently placed Pearl on her feet, Pearl already missing Garnet's hold. Garnet leaned down and Pearl stood on her toes as they kissed once more. This one longer and much more passionate. Pearl closed her eyes and allowed herself to fall under Garnet's trance. Garnet then held her close to her person and swayed as though she was dancing, Pearl doing the same. Garnet began to sing quietly.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away." And the tears started all over again.

A/N I'm actually pretty happy with this one :) And I hope you are too birthday girl! I ended up posting it two days before your birthday. I hope that's okay. And I really hope you like this story.


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